There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.

There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so. - William Shakespeare


Taking cue from the Shakespeare quotation, which implies every thing in your life depends on how you look at them and your attitude. There are folks who stubbornly own events/memories and think they're responsible for everything. They think they stand to loose something but in reality, nothing matters in the end. Life is so short and we all should make it worth living. 

Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence. - Aristotle

We tend to remember events or experiences from an first-hand perspective like playing victim or directly responsible for something. This causes us to own that moment and conjure up negative emotions we may not enjoy. Think about things from a third-person dimension(something happened to your friend) and you won't have that problem.

[Ozlem Ayduk from the University of California and Ethan Kross from the University of Michigan] had participants replay emotionally painful memories from a third-person perspective—which involves visualizing ourselves within the scene as if we were watching it from the perspective of an outside observer.

The difference between the two types of perspectives was profound. Participants reported feeling significantly less emotional pain when they envisioned the memory using a third-person perspective than when using a first-person perspective.

To achieve this new perspective, Winch suggests a little practice. Think of a sad and painful memory. Take a moment to "zoom out" from that recollection and watch it as an "ONLOOKER"/"BYSTANDER" mindset. Then, you feel less victimized.